The Legend of Truths and Dares
by thedevil'sreaper
Summary: Basically a truth and dare fanfic featuring the LoZ cast.
1. Chapter 1

_**The Legend of Truths and Dares**_

 **A/N: This story was up a while ago, but due the way I typed it out before and because I asked for people to leave their truth and dare demands in the form of reviews. However, that will now be changed and hopefully that will be enough to allow this story to stay up. Now, I need to address some things before this story starts.**

 **1) As this is a story I previously created, the first three chapters, and part of the fourth, have already been made, so any truths and/or dares will be for the rest of the fourth chapter.**

 **2) In order to give me your truths and dares, you need to PM them to me. Truths and dares in reviews won't be counted, sorry.**

 **3) If you have a character you want me to use, whether temporarily or permanently, leave their name, description, and abilities and/or weaponry in your PM with your truths and/or dares.**

 **4) If I get a lot of PMs, I will limit the number of sets of truths and/or dares to ten in each chapter.**

 **5) This story will include ALL of the Legend of Zelda characters. If you can find them on Zelda Dungeon, you can ask a truth about them or demand a dare from them.**

 **6) In this story, I will refer to myself as "Author" and I will have and ability called "Author Powers", which give me reality bending powers for the sake of helping the plot and other things.**

 **7) Just so you know, Midna is in her imp form. Also, Majora does have a body. Just imagine the last form, but with pitch black pupils and blood red irises. Instead of whip-like tentacles he has clawed hands and medium length silver hair that's haphazardly spiked back at the top and down in the back.**

 **I don't own any of the Legend of Zelda characters, *sniffle*, Nintendo does.**

Inside an extremely large basement under a wooden house in a clearing in the middle of a remote forest sat an extremely large steel cage. Inside the cage, Link was just waking up.

"Ugh… What-what happened" Link mumbled tiredly.

"Well, look who finally woke up. It's about damn time." Said a familiar voice.

Link looked up to see Midna, who was in chains connected to the cage.

"Hey Midna. Do you know what's going on? Why are you chained up?" Link asked.

"No, I don't know what's going on. And I'm not the only one in shackles, you are too. We ALL are." Midna said with aggravation in her voice.

Link looked at his wrists, and sure enough, he had shackles on.

"Wait a minute, "all"? What do you mean by "all"?" Link asked before finally noticing the other occupants of the cage. In the cage with them were Majora, Gannondorf, Zelda, Navi, Tetra, and the rest of the Legend of Zelda series cast. "So where ARE we?" Link asked.

"Dank, dark, moldy, weird musty smell, and a rusty cage and chains… Looks like the dungeon in the Twilight Palace. Or Zant's room, that crazy fucker." Midna replied jokingly.

"What I want to know is how the hell this happened!" Gannondorf yelled.

"It probably happened when we ate that breakfast Author made for us. He probably laced it with something." Zelda deduced. Just then, they heard a slow clapping from the doorway and looked to see who it was.

"Excellent deduction, Zelda." I said with a smirk.

"You asshole! When I get my hands on you, I'm going to stab you in the kidneys and then rip out your spleen and shove it up your ass! What the fuck do you want with us?!" Tetra exclaimed.

"Well Tetra, first off, thank you for the compliment. Second, it's not necessarily what I want with you. THAT is up to the readers. After all, as of now, we are playing a game of truth or dare." I said with amusement apparent on my face.

"NOOOOOOO!" Yelled everyone in the cage.

"Please, Author, not that! Anything but that! We were in one of those before and it was horrible." Link said getting into the fetal position and rocking back and forth.

"Sorry bu-." I began.

"You're not sorry." Midna interrupted.

"True, I'm not, but it's already been set in motion and if you think you're going to disobey me and NOT do the dares, I will take a portion of you, strap you to some chairs that are placed in large tin buckets filled with water, drill metal spikes into you, and then electrocute you. The second group I will nail to a large dartboard and have darts shot at you while you spin. The third group will be tied up to a pole with chains and set in a big bonfire. I will then proceed to shoot fireworks at them as they burn. The final group will be thrown to a pack of ravenous wild dogs, which will then begin to tear them apart while they are shot at with steel BBs and frozen paintballs. And I will use my powers to make you all immortal for the duration of you torture. Understood?" I explained.

Everyone else nodded out of fear.

"Good. Now, I'm going to release you so you can get up and walk around. I also made you all breakfast, and don't worry, I didn't lace it with anything." I said.

I unlocked the cell doors and their shackles and everyone got up, stretched, and then headed upstairs to eat. As she exited the basement, Malon noticed the front door.

"Hey, are we allowed outside?" Malon asked, staring at the front door.

"Sure, I don't see why not." I answered. Malon headed outside, then started sprinting towards the forest.

"SEE YA, SUCKERS!" She yelled as she made it to the tree line. About a minute later, everyone hears explosions, lasers and guns firing, dogs barking, and Malon's screams of fear in the distance. Seconds later, they see her running back toward the house. She ran in and slammed the door shut.

"What the fuck was that?!" Malon asked, panting, out of breath, and shaking from the fear and overexertion.

"Welcome back. That was my security force, which is there in case any of you had the brilliant idea of trying to escape. Now, if we're all done with the shitty attempts to get out of doing this, let's eat. Then we can go into the living room to play video games until we get some dares.

"Fine" Everyone else agreed in defeat. And so, everyone ate then retired to the living room to hang out until it was time to answer their fates.

 **Sorry about the long author's note at the top, but it had to be done. Don't forget to PM me some truths and dares. Remember: truths and dares presented in reviews will not be counted because of the rules, sorry.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **I'd like to give a shout out to Groundon65. You are evil to me. You got me to watch Jurassic World, a movie I previously refused to watch, just for the sake of your dare. So to you, I say bravo.**

" **Hey"- normal speech.**

 _ **Jurassic World**_ **\- title/name of something.**

 ***Gupl*- verbal action.**

 **I don't own The Legend of Zelda nor its characters. If I did, Link would have more of a personality during the cut scenes somehow.**

It was about 6:30 am and everyone was sleeping. Well, everyone except Author, who was up to no good.

"Aw, look at that, everyone's sleeping. That just won't do at all, we have things to do. Whelp, time for a wakeup call, hehehe." I said with a devious smile. I went into another room, dragged out a large speaker, plugged it into my computer, turned both up to maximum volume, and then played _You Eclipsed by Me_ by _Atreyu_. Everyone else woke up startled and started screaming.

Windwaker Link woke up with such a fright that he jumped up and grabbed onto the ceiling fan. Skull Kid tried to stand up, but the volume of the music was beginning to mess with his inner ear, making it too hard.

"My ears!" Ruto screamed.

"It hurts!" Midna yelled.

"Mommy, make the yelling wall stop puking music notes of red ear liquid!" Zant begged as he hid behind Midna.

"I'm not your mom! And what does that even mean?!" Midna shouted her reply.

"I can't see straight!" Gannondorf exclaimed.

"My mask is cracking!" Majora yelled.

"Okay, we're all awake now!" Zelda screamed.

"Good, I'm glad you're all awake." I said after turning off the music.

"What the fuck were you trying to do?! Kill us with sound? For my sake, my mask cracked!" Majora stated, furious with my little stunt.

"No I wasn't, Majora, but my bad. I'll fix your mask." I apologized before snapping my fingers, magically repairing Majora's mask. "Anyways, we got our first sets of dares. Get ready and I'll read them. We'll do them in order of who was asked first." I stated. Once everyone was settled, I read the first set out loud. "From Groundon65. Midna; use a helium tank to inflate Link, Ruto, and Zelda. Gannondorf; murder all the fangirls that ship you with Link. Link; why don't you talk in the games? Ruto; get shoved into a closet and make out with Link. Everyone; watch the fight clip between Tyrannosaurus and Indominus Rex and tell what you thought of the fight." I read off the paper.

"Hehe, interesting dare. I like it." Midna said with a disturbing smile. I used my Author Powers to conjure up a helium tank and to turn Link, Ruto, and Zelda into rubber. "Can you conjure up some clown music, Author?" Midna asked.

"Hehe, sure." I chuckled before quickly clapping twice and summoning clown music to play from out of nowhere. Midna shoved the hose end of the tank into Link's mouth and blew him up like a long balloon, then proceeded to do the same to Ruto and Zelda.

"Who's up for balloon animals?" Midna asked with a genuine smile. Majora, Gannondorf, Dark Link, Zant, Ilia, and I all raised our hands. "Okay!" She said a little excited before fashioning Link into a balloon wolf, Ruto into a fish, and Zelda into a dog. "There! We got a wolf for Ilia, a fish for Author, and it's not edible so don't try, and a bitch for Gannondorf to deal with." She said handing us the balloon animals with a smile. "Now, here are three pins to pop them with." She said with a devious smile while handing the three pins to Majora, Dark Link, and Zant, who proceeded to pop the balloonified Hylians. I quickly revived the victims.

"Alright, next, Gannondorf gets to murder thousands of fangirls! Here's your sword, Gannondorf." I said, happily handing him his sword.

"Aw! No fair! How come he gets to kill them? I call bullshit!" Link complained.

"Quit your bitching. He get to do it because it's his dare. Go nuts, Gannondorf." I said before summoning a giant arena with a large overhead video screen. I then warped Gannondorf and all the fangirls into the arena and everyone else into the stands with popcorn.

"Where are we?" asked one of the fangirls.

"And how did we get here?" asked another.

Gannondorf looked up into the stands at me and I gave a thumbs down like Caesar.

"Hell yeah! Watch me butcher these bitches!" Gannondorf yelled, full of excitement. He then went on a murderous rampage, cutting, hacking, and slashing many of the fangirls in the arena to bits. Others, he used magic to roast them alive, blow them to bits, electrocute them, and incinerate or melt them. For the last bit, he transformed into Gannon (the giant boar creature) and crushed them under his feet.

"Man that was so refreshing! Wish there were more to kill." He said. Transforming back and coming down from his adrenalin high.

"Good job, Gannondorf." I complimented. I snapped my fingers and warped everyone back to the house. "Now, Link, your turn." I stated.

"What was it again?" Link asked. I handed him the paper so he could read it. "Oh, okay. Well, the reason I don't talk is because when we were originally making the games, I WAS going to talk, but we didn't have the prowess to put voices in the games yet. When we did have the prowess, the more I got hurt the fouler my language would get.

Also, when I died, I would remember what it felt like, and that would put me in more of a pissed off mood, which made everything worse. By the time we finished the first game in which I COULD talk, which was Ocarina of Time, I was so angry I was killing the other cast members and crew and using such foul language that rating it "Adult Only" would have been generous. And that's even IF it was allowed to be released in the first place." Link explained.

"….. Well damn, Link. Anyways, next dare." I said.

"Wait, what was the next one again?" Link asked. He then read the dare out loud. "Oh, no….." Link said with a look of horror on his face.

"YES!" Ruto yelled before grabbing Link by the back of the collar, dragging him into the closet, and slamming the door.

"No! No, no, no, no! Help me, help me, hel- mph, mph, mmmmmph!" Link screamed while he was being dragged into the closet just before getting cut off when Ruto closed the door and started making out with him.

"You only get ten minutes in there, so make the most of it Ruto!" I yelled through the door.

After ten minutes went by, I opened the door to the awkward sight of Ruto forcefully stripping Link while making out with him.

"Okay, enough Ruto. We all have to watch the damn movie _Jurassic World_ , not that I want to." I said, anger apparent in my voice.

"Aww. Okay, fine." Ruto whined.

"Is it over?" Link asked in a horrified daze.

"Yes it is, Link. Now get up, get redressed, and head to the living room to watch _Jurassic World_." I said.

"Okay." Link replied. He quickly got dressed then headed to the living room with the others.

"Alright, since I don't want to actually watch the movie, I'm just going to skip to the fight scene. This isn't up for debate and if anyone has any objections, do yourself a favor and shut the hell up." I said. I then put the movie in and fast forward to the fight. After the fight, I turned off the movie and TV.

"WOW! That was awesome!" Skull Kid exclaimed with big, starry eyes.

"It was alright." Link said.

"Hashtag water creature for the win!" Ruto said excitedly.

"Who would ever artificially make a genetically new breed of dinosaur anyway? That's what I want to know" Zelda stated.

"Those dinosaurs were pathetic! I could have caused WAY more damage than that and none of those puny humans would have survived!" Majora ranted.

"Hell, Tetra could have done more damage. And she's a pirate!" Gannondorf added.

"And just what is that supposed to mean?!" Tetra yelled angrily after pulling out her sword and putting it to Gannondorf's throat.

"*Gulp* Nothing!" Gannondorf said, terrified.

"It could have been better." Midna said clearly bored.

"It wasn't bad, but I wasn't expecting much. Overall, it wasn't that interesting to watch. Okay! Next list of demands!" I said. I walked over to my computer desk, picked up the paper with the demands, and read them out loud. "From agarfinkel. Truths. A Link between Worlds Link; who do you like more: Princess Zelda or Princess Hilda? Tetra; besides Link, what did the other members of your crew end up doing after you founded New Hyrule? Every Link and Zelda except the ones from Skyward Sword; whenever you two first meet each other, do you ever get the feeling that you already met before? Dares. Skyward Sword Link and Ocarina of Time Zelda; do a harp playing showdown to determine who the best harp player is. Ghirahim; cut out that annoying tongue of yours. Groose; squash all of Stritch's insects." I read. "Alright, let's get this going." I said.

"Well, I like Zelda better, but Hilda is a great friend." LBW Link said.

"That was very uninteresting… I can fix that!" I said excitedly. I summoned a tank filled with hungry great white sharks then tied up LBW Link and dangled him above said tank. "Taking all bets! When do you think the rope will break? Taking all be-." I started to say before I was interrupted by the sound of a snap followed by gargled screams then silence. "Whoops. You're next, Tetra." I said then revived LBW Link.

"Well, after Wind Waker and Phantom Hourglass, Link, the crew, and I all sailed around the world. We didn't find a large enough land mass until about a few months after my 22nd birthday. After that, we got plenty of natives, as well as others from different islands, to form the new Hyrule. That took a few years to make happen, but when everything was said and done, the crew became Link and I's personal bodyguards." Tetra explained.

"Interesting. I always wondered that myself. Next!" I stated.

"Okay, so instead of all of us giving the same answer, it was decided that Zelda and I would tell you that yes, on some level, we all had the feeling that we met before." Twilight Princess Link said.

"Sometimes we would even get déjà vu." Twilight Princess Zelda added.

All of a sudden, the lights turned off. Then the lights over a stage turned on and standing on that stage were SS Link, OoT Zelda, and me.

"Alright, audience, are you ready?" I asked like a hype man. I was answered with a chorus of cheers. "Link, Zelda, are you ready?" I asked and was answered with a couple of nods. "Then Link will start us off." I said before exiting off the stage. Link began playing a harp version of _Speak of the Devil_ by _Sum 41_.

"Your turn, Zelda." Link said once he finished. Zelda then began playing a harp version of _Behind Closed Doors_ by _Rise Against_.

"Your go, Link." Zelda said when she was done.

"Pretty good, pretty good. I learned this at the academy." Link said then began playing _Beethoven's Mozart_. "Beat that." Link challenged. Zelda changed into her Sheik disguise, since she plays better as Sheik.

"I plan to." She said, accepting the challenge. She then began to play _Through the Fire and the Flames_ by _Dragonforce_ very quickly, finishing in under three minutes and thirty seconds. The audience stood up and applauded loudly, with OoT Link and OoT Gannondorf whisling as well.

"I think we have a winner! ZELDA! Next dare!" I said still full of excitement.

"I'm not much of a masochist, but okay." Ghirahim said. He grabbed his sword, stuck out his tongue, and then cut it off. However, it immediately grew back. "If you were wondering why I didn't use scissors, it's because I am a living sword and the only non-magical thing strong enough to hurt me is another sword." Ghirahim explained.

"No one was wondering because no one cares." I said stoically.

"Hey, Author, can we skip the next dare? Please?" Stritch begged.

"I'm sorry, Stritch, but you know we can't. But don't worry, I'll help you collect more afterwards, okay?" Groose stated.

"Okay. Thanks Groose, you're the best. Just please make it quick." Stritch said sadly.

"I will." Groose replied then began stomping on all the bugs while Stritch started crying.

"Alright, so that's it for the demands. I'm going to order pizza, so just wait in the living room until it gets here. And you might want to go to sleep early, because if you don't get up in time, you'll get another wake up call, hehehe. We'll be starting at 7:30." I stated.

"Then why did you wake us up so early this morning?" Malon asked.

"I felt like it." I said with a shrug. Everyone else anime fell in response.

 **So that's it for Chapter 2. Now, I have to say that I will be switching back to having Shoto94 beta read my chapters starting with this one. I originally thought she wouldn't have time, but turns out I was wrong. So beta reading credit goes to Shoto94.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **A/N: Alright, so I need more truth and dare demands for Chapter 4 and remember that they need to be sent to me via a pm for them to be used.**

 **To the Guest/Guests that reviewed with dares: I'm sorry, but I can't use them due to them being in a review. Also, the first dare was good, but the second one was not so good.**

" **Hey"-normal speech.**

 _ **Jurassic World**_ **\- title/name of something.**

 ***Gulp*-verbal action.**

 **I don't own The Legend of Zelda nor its characters. Otherwise Navi wouldn't be as annoying.**

It was 9:57 am and everyone but Tingle and I, because I decided to sleep in, was awake and some of them were staring at Tingle. The rest didn't care enough and were playing _Super Smash Bros. Melee_.

"Do you think we should wake him up? If Author gets up before he does, who knows what will happen to him." Saria said. Malon headed outside, grabbed a stick, came back, poked and then whacked Tingle in the head with the stick.

"Well, he isn't waking up anytime soon." Malon stated.

"How do you know?" Skull Kid asked.

"No one, not even my father, sleeps through me hitting them over the head." Malon explained. I walked into the room yawning and stretching, then I looked at the clock.

"10:05 already? Good morning everyone." I said before noticing Tingle. "Huh, I was wondering who got the spiked soda last night." I stated.

"You spiked one of the drinks?! Why?!" Link yelled both shocked and pissed.

"Because I prefer to have a reason to torturing you guys than to just torturing you without one. So, Gannondorf, got a question." I said.

"Yeah, what is it?" He asked.

"Do you like flamethrowers?" I questioned.

"Yes." He answered.

"Do you like burning people with them?" I asked.

"Yes." He replied with a little enthusiasm.

"Do you like Tingle?" I asked.

"Hell no." He replied.

"Okay." I said, then conjured up a flamethrower. "Here you go, SS Link. Roast him." I said with a smile on my face.

"What the hell?!" Gannondorf yelled in angry disbelief. All of a sudden, Fi appeared from the Master Sword.

"Author, Link, there is a 95% chance that Tingle will die if set on fire with the flamethrower." Fi said in a monotone voice.

"Shut the fuck up, Fi. Go ahead Link." I said, a little annoyed. Link set Tingle on fire, who immediately woke up and began screaming and running around.

"AAAAAAHHHHH! I'm on fire! Help me!" Tingle screamed.

"See, Fi, he didn't die." I said. Just then, Tingle fell to the floor with a thud. "Huh… I stand corrected." I stated. I sighed then snapped my fingers to bring Tingle back to life. "Okay, enough goofing off. I think we're all awake. We got more dares to do, so let's get them going." I said then went and grabbed the paper with the demands on it.

"From Zelda345. Skull Kid: throw _P Balloons_ from _Super Mario World_ at Link, Midna, Saria, and Kafei. Gannondorf: do you see Link as a worthy opponent? Zelda: get revenge on Ruto by using your final smash. Saria: did you know Link lost your ocarina? Link: Fight the Incredible Hulk without any weapons. Malon: watch your cows get eaten by velociraptors. Majora: turn Zelda into a child. Everyone: react to _Who's Cooking Tonight_ by _Raikujo_." I read. I then summoned four _P Balloons_ and a ton of bows and arrows.

"What are the bows and arrows for?" Skull Kid asked.

"Don't worry about those, just worry about hitting them with the balloons." I answered with a suspiciously friendly smile.

"Okay." Skull Kid said before using his magic to lift the balloons up into the air and hurl them at Link, Midna, Saria, and Kafei. The four swelled up into balloons and started floating away.

"Alright archers! Ready! Aim! Fire!" I yelled once they were about thirty feet in the air. A volley of flaming arrows were sent flying towards the quartet, poppomg them, setting them on fire, and sending them hurtling to the ground. "Nice aim, everyone." I complimented the rest of the cast. "Next." I said after reviving the four from the last dare.

"Oh yeah. Link is an excellent swordsman and he can play a mean game of tennis. Every time I fight him, I can't help but to admire his swordsmanship and fighting style. He makes taking over Hyrule such a challenge, I can't help but respect him for his skill and tenacity. Plenty of times I've considered offering him a position of power in my new world, if he were to help me that is. If it came down to just swordplay, I would lose every time, no question about it." Gannondorf explained.

"…. Wow, Gannondorf. Thanks for that, but did you have to word it so… Gayishly? Seriously, do you have a crush on me or something?" Link asked with a victorious smirk.

"No I don't! Now shut the hell up!" Gannondorf yelled, blushing from the embarrassment.

"Enough! If you two don't shut up, I'll cut out your tongues, rip out your vocal cords, and sew your mouths shut!" I threatened.

"Sorry." They both said while starring at the ground.

"Now that that's taken care of, on to the next dare." I said. I snapped my fingers and a smash ball appeared. "Here you go, Zelda, do me proud." I said with a smile.

"With pleasure." Zelda replied, grinning insanely. She crushed the smash ball in her hands. "This is for harassing Link all those years!" She yelled in slight anger. She then drew back on the Light Bow and shot a Light Arrow, piercing Ruto through the chest. Noticing the state Ruto was now in, my eyes grew big and wide.

"Fried fish! Yes!" I yelled in excitement before devouring the fried fish-woman. "Mmmm, that was good." I said, smiling contently before reviving Ruto. "Next! Hey, Saria, did you hear what the next one was?" I asked.

"No, why?" Saria asked, confused.

"Please read it out loud." I said while handing her the list.

"Sure. Saria: did you know Link… lost… your… Link! Get over here so I can give you a painful lesson in rectal sword removal!" Saria yelled before pulling a sword from out of nowhere and beginning to chase after Link.

"Saria, I'm sorry! I swear, though, it's not completely lost! It's somewhere in my house in the Kokiri Forest! If you let me live, I can go find it!" Link screamed as he ran from Saria.

"Okay! I'll help you." Saria said, immediately calming down and heading off with him to find the ocarina.

"Wow, who knew she had that side to her? Anyways, the next dare is going to be gruesome. So, Links, let's see who the unlucky contestant will be." I said as I summoned a roulette wheel with their names on it. "Gannondorf, would you like to spin it?" I asked.

"Damn straight I would!" He replied with enthusiasm. He spun the wheel and it somehow got stuck between Twilight Princess Link and Dark Link. "What the hell? So how does this work; who fights?" He asked.

"Simple, both of them fight." I stated.

"Both?!" Both of them asked, shocked.

"Yes, both." I stated again before warping everyone to arena we used before with the two Links in the arena. I then summoned the Incredible Hulk.

 **A/N: I don't own the Incredible Hulk, Marvel does.**

"Okay, Hulk, you have to fight the two in front of you and as per the rule of the dare, I'll just hang on to these." I said as I confiscated the Links' weaponry. "Now fight!" I demanded.

"Hulk smash!" The Hulk yelled before he slammed both his fists down, crushing both the Links.

"….. That was fast." I said.

"That's what she said." Darunia replied.

"No 'That's what she said' jokes!" I yelled angrily then grabbed the Master Sword and used it to cut Darunia in half. I then revived everyone, sent the Hulk back, gave the Links back their stuff, and then warped everyone to the top of Lon Lon Ranch's barn. "Okay, time for the next dare." I stated. I summoned a restraint chair, strapped Malon into it, and then warped velociraptors into the barn.

"No, no, no! Hoofers, Moolisa, Freddy! No!" Malon screamed as she began to cry. I sighed then revived the cows and got rid of the velociraptors.

"I can't let someone as nice as her cry like that. Alright, we still got more to do. Majora, you're up next." I stated.

"Hehehe, hey Zelda, look over here for a second." Majora said. When Zelda looked towards him, he began to rapidly shake his head from side to side. When he finished, Zelda was a 5 year old child once again.

"What the hell? How long am I stuck like this?" Zelda asked, noticing her predicament.

"About ten minutes." Majora replied.

"Huh. Well, now what am I going to do? Oh, I know!" Zelda said to herself, excited. She walked up to Gannondorf and looked into his eyes with her best puppy dog look complete with a quivering lip. "Hey, Gannondowf, can you pwease get me a chocolate chip cookie? Pwetty pwease?" she begged. When he looked at her face, he was overcome with a sense of pity.

"Oh, no. Must… resist… puppy dog… eyes… oh, I can't resist! Fine, I'll get you a cookie." He said then got her said cookie, which she finished eating just before changing back.

"Diabolical. Next! Everyone crowd around the computer!" I declared and everyone bunched up around the computer. After the short video, all the kids, minus the Kokiri, were so scared that they were huddling in the corned with their eyes covered. Everyone else were laughing their asses off.

"Hahaha! And after all that, the two are BOTH making the food! Ah hahahahaha!" I said during my laughing fit.

"Best part was when the one burned guy was holding the skull like in Shakespeare's play! Hahaha!" Link said between laughter.

"*sigh* That was well worth watching." I said as I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye. "Alright, we got another list to go through, so let's get to it." I stated.

"Uh, Author, these are all for you." Midna said, reading the list.

"What? Bullshit, let me see it." I said in disbelief before looking at the paper. "Huh. Well how about that. Okay first, before I do this, I have to let you know that usually you're supposed to ask the truths and dares of the characters, with only some being for the author. But, whatever, I don't mind I just hope you review again and have some truths and dares for the others, heheh. Now, onto the list." I stated.

"From Rq. Truths. Who do you think is the hottest incarnation of Zelda? Who do you think is the most powerful and experienced overall incarnation of Link? If you can't decide, pick the top 3. What is your favorite Link x Gerudo fanfic?

Dares. Dare you to make an epic dark story 10 years after _Majora's Mask_ where Link is framed for killing the king and attacking Zelda and the now vengefully appointed queen is after Link. Link must lie low and somehow prove his innocence by looking for the culprit. What's worse is that he has a bounty of 30,000,000 rupees. With such a heavy bounty, who can Link trust to help him?

Dare you to research many articles from Zeldapedia, Hyrule Hystoria, and Zelda wiki. Dare you to read _Naruto vs Sasuke: The Aftermath_ fanfic. Dare you to read _The Newest Challenger_ a _Naruto_ x _Street Fighter_ crossover fanfic. Dare you to make a fictional AU of _Twilight Princess_ where Link is actually an outcast due to being half Hylian and half demon. He still looks Hylian, but has traits like healing faster than normal and with someone witnessing him kill a monster to save a child despite him being 7." I read.

"Okay, wow. Well, to be honest, I find Midna as the most attractive. I like her looks (not imp form, although she looks awesome like that as it kind of fits her nature), her attitude, and her personality. However, when it comes to Zelda, it's a challenge. Based on physical appearance, Twilight Princess Zelda is easier on the eyes than the others. When it comes to personality, however, Skyward Sword Zelda wins as I think she has a better, more unique personality compared to the others. In short, none of them or the previously mentioned as a tie. Next." I stated. In the background, Midna is blushing while the Zeldas are in the kitchen looking for sharp objects. All except SS Zelda, who is celebrating her victory with cupcakes.

"I actually don't need to think about this. See, I watch a show on _YouTube_ called _Game Theory_. Basically, they look at video games from a scientific perspective. They have actually done a video on just this and, amazingly, the most powerful and experienced Link is the child version of Ocarina of Time Link. However, the number two spot, in my opinion, is a tie between Twilight Princess Link and Skyward Sword Link. his is because TP Link is the strongest and SS Link is the second most experienced, since he was trained to be a knight in the academy." I explained while all the Links huddled around the computer to watch the previously mentioned _Game Theory_.

"Hey, he's right! I am the best!" exclaimed child OoT Link as Spirit Tracks Link went into the corner to sulk.

"I have honestly never read a Link x Gerudo fanfic. Now for the dares… damn." I stated.

"I honestly don't think I can do this one as my skill isn't to that level." I said.

"Sorry to say about this one, but that is too much reading for my small attention span. I actually have ADD and can barely focus on this story for more than half an hour." I explained.

"This is for future reference for everyone: if there is a story you want me to check out, just ask me to and I will. It don't have to be part of the truths/dares. I can't guarantee that I will like it and finish reading it, but I'll at least give it a try." I said.

"Already started my version of this, so please go check it out. Now onto the next list." I said.

"From agarfinkel. Truths. A Link between Worlds Impa- since we never got to see it, how did you get turned into a painting by Yuga? Twilight Princess Link- who do you like more: Ilia, Zelda, or Midna? Nabooru- what were you going to give Link after he got you the Silver Gauntlets. Especially since, after you woke up as a sage, you stated that you would have kept the promise you made back then if you had known Link would have turned out to be so handsome as an adult. Dares. Midna- using your hair, slap Zant silly one thousand times. Ocarina of Time Epona and Twilight Princess Epona- race each other to see who the best racing horse is. Ocarina of Time Link- transform into a Zora an ask Ruto out on a date." I read.

"Damn, agarfinkel, another good list. Impa, you're up." I stated.

"Well, I was just minding my own business, tending to the palace garden as I often do, when Yuga showed up. We exchanged a few word and the battle ensued. At first, I tried to use a variety of offensive magic, but he would dodge, parry, or even return my attacks. After a while, I decided to defend until I could find his weakness. This turned out to be a bad idea as he quite quickly broke through me defenses, stunning me. While I was stunned he turned me into a painting and by the time the guards arrived, it was too late. In short, I was overwhelmed and outmatched." Impa explained.

"Well at least you put up a good fight, Impa. Up next is TP Link." I stated.

"I'm more attracted to Ilia, but Midna is a great friend." TP Link said. In the background I'm grumbling out a complaint about Link's love interests in the LoZ series before sighing in defeat.

"Okay, next is Nabooru." I stated.

"Well what I was going to give him was a kiss on the cheek, but when I saw him in the future, I was thinking a kiss on the lips and maybe more." Nabooru said, blushing slightly.

"Horny gerudo." Gannondorf and I said then looked at each other. "Jinx! Damn it! Stop doing that! AARRGGHHH!" We yelled before turning around and storming away from each other.

"Wait a minute! Why am I leaving? We still got shit to do. Midna, you got a dare." I said, slightly agitated.

"To slap Zant silly? That ship has sunk, he's already insane. This does remind me of when we were kids, however…" Midna said, reminiscing. She then grabbed Zant and proceeded to slap him one thousand times.

"Okay, okay, okay! That's enough, Midna! Geese, did you have to hit me so hard?" Zant asked as he began to rub his face. A moment later he noticed everyone staring at him. "What? Do I have something on my face?" He asked.

"I can't believe it. Midna, I think you slapped him sane. Can you fix this?" I asked.

"I don't know, but I'll try." Midna replied before smacking Zant in the back of the head. "I think that did it." She said.

"Hey, the room stopped spinning." Zant said before hearing imaginary flutes. "And the Leprechauns in my nose have started playing their music again! Make it stop!" He yelled, covering his ears.

"He's back." Midna said simply.

"Okay, now that that mess is settled, let's move on." I said. I warped everyone back to Lon Lon Ranch, summoned some bleachers, and had sit in them. "Alright, let's make this interesting! Place your bets! Who do you think is going to win? Ocarina of Time Epona or Twilight Princess Epona? Place your bets!" I exclaimed.

"I've got 300 rupees on OoT!" Malon yelled.

"I got 500 on my horse!" OoT Link exclaimed.

"I got 1425 on OoT Epona!" Nabooru shouted.

"Put me down for 5000 rupees on TP Epona!" Gannondorf yelled.

"I go 600 on my Epona!" TP Link shouted.

"I have 30 on TP Epona!" Ilia exclaimed.

"I got 55 on TP!" Telma shouted.

"Give me 1200 on OoT Epona!" Ingo yelled.

"Alright, betting is now closed! Let's get this race started!" I announced before leading both Epona to the starting line. "The winner is the first to complete one lap around the fence." I stated before pulling out a starter pistol and firing it. Both Epona take off, with OoT Epona taking an early lead. However, TP Epona quickly catches up and, as they near the end, pushes ahead to win by an inch.

"And the winner is TP Epona! Sad day for the wallets of those who bet on OoT Epona!" I announced before taking the money from the losers and giving the winners their pay. "Link, don your Zora Mask!" I shouted, still hyped up from the race.

"*sigh* Okay. I think I still have it somewhere." OoT Link said, looking in his massive, still unexplained inventory. "Aha! Found it." He stated then put it on and transformed into Zora Link. "Hey Ruto, want to go to dinner with me?" He asked. When Ruto saw Zora Link she blushed and then fainted due to a head rush. Zora Link then takes off the mask and shifts back to regular Link.

"Well, damn. I didn't think she would faint from that. Alright, I think that's it. _Super Smash Bros. Melee_ tournament anyone?" I asked.

"Hell yeah!" Everyone else replied.

 **So that's it for Chapter 3, I hope you liked it. Don't forget to send me some PMs of truths and dares.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **A/N: Alright, so I have a few things to say before the story starts.**

 **1) The first set of truths and dares, as well as some from the second set, are based off of a few YouTube Legend of Zelda abridged series made by Xanauzumaki. They aren't that bad and I suggest checking them out, especially if you don't get the dares and want to understand why the characters are the way they are during the truths and dares based on Xana's series.**

 **2) Thank you to those who have favorited and followed this story. I really appreciate it.**

 **3) I will be keeping this story going as long as possible. As long as I get more demands, I'll keep putting out chapters.**

" **Hey"- normal speech.**

 _ **Jurassic World**_ **\- title/name of something.**

" _ **Damn it**_ **."- thought.**

 ***Gulp*- verbal action.**

 **I don't own the Legend of Zelda, Nintendo does.**

The _Super Smash Bros. Melee_ tournament had just ended.

"And the winner is Midna! Now, I'm going to watch some Netflix, so entertain yourselves." I stated and headed for my computer.

"Rematch tournament anyone?" Gnnondorf asked the room.

"Hell yeah!" Everyone else replied. So, they began another tournament when they heard Author yell. They quickly got up and ran to him.

"What the hell?!" I exclaimed.

"What's going on? What's wrong?" Link asked.

"I thought I should check on the story to see how it's going, and we already got more demands!" I said, slightly yelling.

"Isn't that good?" Zelda questioned.

"Yes and no. Yes because they help the story progress, but no because I'm not prepared. I need a good break before I'm up to torturing you all again." I explained.

"We just took a 5 hour break, how long do you need?" Zelda rebutted.

"... Shut up. *Sigh* Oh well, let's get this done." I said in defeat.

"From Syntras. Truths. Saria, how did you cope with Link leaving the forest? Zant, how's Fluffy, the magical, winged, fire-breathing panda doing? MM Link, what exactly happened with Ben Drowned in that pocket dimension? As one sociopath to another, I demand answers! OoT Zelda, has the almighty fan service voice left? Gannondorf, how does it feel having such a small dick that even Navi's IQ dwarfs it?

Dares. MM/OoT Link, fight Midna and Zant in a one on two. I want to see your sociopathic tendencies vs Zant's insanity and Midna's bitchiness. TP Link, eat all of Navi's muffins and then tell her they suck. Ruto, go fornicate the Deku Princess and drag along anyone you want. This is sure to be the most horrific sex in history. MM Link, unleash your full douche. I must see it! Happy Mask Salesman, go fuck yourself. Literally. Reality is your bitch, right? So do it. Then proceed to allow Link to vent all his anger on you without consequences." I read out loud.

Sighing, I got up, walked over to the hall closet, and opened it. I bent down and opened a hidden latch in the floor to reveal a metal box that was labeled "Xana" and marked with a biohazard sign. I picked the box up, brought it to the living room, and then set it on the coffee table.

"I was hoping I would never have to open this box…" I said in a somber voice as I stared at the box.

"What is it?" Link asked.

"And why does it have that biohazard symbol on it?" Zelda asked, eyeing the box cautiously.

"It has the biohazard symbol on it because of the vials of liquid that are in it. There are two types of liquids in this box. One type is the physical manifestation of the physical, mental, emotional, and personality attributes of Xanauzumaki's versions of those of you from Twilight Princess, Ocarina of Time, and Majora's Mask. The other type of liquid is the antidote." I explained.

"What's so bad about that?" Gannondorf questioned.

"You'll find out. After all, you'll remember everything from when you are under the influence of these dark forces. I tested it out on you all before we started, but it went horribly bad and I changed you all back. You remembered and got mad, so I wiped your memories of everything after you all ate breakfast so we could start off fresh and then locked you all back in the cage. Now get ready, because when I open this box, all of you who are from the previously mentioned games will take your respective "Xana potions", which is what I call them, and drink them." I stated, then took a key from out of my pocket, unlocked the box, and opened it.

" _Let the time in Hell commence_." I thought as everyone associated with the three games took their vials and drank the contents.

"Alright, first up is Saria." I stated.

"Well, after a few weeks of carving more pictures of him into my skin and my house and sniffing his dirty clothes he left behind, I went looking for him. After I found him, I proceeded to stalk him. Every now and then, when he was asleep, I would sit next to him and stroke his cheek. Then I would sometimes take some of his hair to chew on while I masturbated to him." Saria said with a smile as she fondly remembered the things she done.

"… I feel sorry for you Link. Next up is Zant." I said.

"Fluffy is doing very well for himself. He's married, has three kids, and is an international dancing star. Nyehehe." Zant said.

"Well good for him. MM Link, you're up." I stated.

"Well, at first, I started to bash him in the head with the hilt of my sword, as you know. Then, I stabbed him through the stomach to pin him to the ground. Next, I ripped off each of his fingernails, broke all of his fingers one by one, and then ripped off each finger. I then proceeded to do the same to his toes. Next, I twisted my sword around in his stomach before pulling it out. I then gave him a painful lesson in rectal sword removal. Finally, I cut his head in half so I could present the upper half to the king of the Ikana kingdom." Link explained.

"Damn. Anyways, OoT Zelda, answer your question." I said.

"NO! It hasn't left! It still wants blood and now it's singing show tunes!" Zelda yelled hysterically.

"Well, then give it some blood. There's got to be some person or animal you could sacrifice. About the show tunes… I can't help you. Next up is Gannondorf." I said.

"You didn't have to bring it up, you bastard!" Gannondorf cried out before running away while bawling his eyes out.

"… Okay… Next up are the dares. MM Link, Midna, and Zant. You all got to fight." I said before warping everyone to an arena with the three combatants inside. I gave the signal to fight and they began.

Link rushed forth using the Bunny Hood. Midna began to use her magic to try and blow up Link, but he just dodged the balls of magical energy. Meanwhile, Zant is off to the side dancing about like nothing is going on while singing " _It's a Small World After All_ ".

As Link got close to Midna, he equipped the Blast Mask, crouched down, and detonated it. The resulting blast blew Midna across the arena and into Zant. He then cut off Midna's hair, took off her helmet, and then started to beat her to death with it.

He then used Midna's hair to wrap up Zant and spin him like a top. Link then pulled out his sword and cut Zant into three pieces.

"Alright, it is over! The winner is Link!" I exclaimed before reviving the fallen and warping everyone back to the house. "TP Link, you're up." I said with a smirk.

"Okay. I don't see how this could go wrong." TP Link stated. He then went over to Navi, took and ate all of her muffins, then looked straight at her. "Navi, your muffins are disgusting." He said. The room got dark as it seemed the very light in the room was sucked away and Navi began to emit a dark red aura.

"The words you have just spoke are of the highest caliber of blasphemy. You have insulted, not just me and my muffins, but the entirety of muffin kind. I will sacrifice you to the muffin god as your punishment in hopes to appease him. May the muffin god have mercy on your soul and may you find redemption in death." Navi spoke in a deep and malicious voice just before rocketing through TP Link's chest, piercing straight through his heart.

"Note to self: don't mess with Navi's muffins. Okay, next is…. Oh god…. Ruto and the Deku Princess." I said in horror.

"We want Link and the monkey." The Deku Princess said. I brainwashed Link into going with them.

ATTENTION! Due to the horrifically graphic and adult natures of the actions of the four beings and censorship restrictions, the sexual scenes have been cut. Sorry.

"That was mentally scarring. I might have nightmares tonight. Next is MM Link." I said.

"Okay, here it goes." Link said, then started summoning all of his douche. All of a sudden, the ground began to quake and split open, the nearby trees burst into flames, the sea began to churn, and natural disasters appeared all over the world. Finally, the world itself split in half, the moon shattered, and the sun went out like a candle. It was officially the end of the galaxy by the time Link was done.

"God damn it. Now I have to fix this damn mess." I stated angrily. I snapped my fingers and everything went back to normal. "Finally is the Happy Mask Salesman." I stated.

"Okay. I am a bit of a narcissist, after all." Happy Mask Salesman said, then summoned another him and they proceeded to have sex. Afterwards, Link walked over shoved his hand into the Masked Salesman's chest, ripped out his heart and ate it.

"Okay, that wraps up the first set of dares. The next set is from my Beta Reader, Shoto94. Everyone, except Navi, Zant, and Gannondorf, drink your antidotes." I stated as I revived the Happy Mask Salesman.

"It's about damn time." Tetra said.

"From Shoto94. Dares. Tetra, sing ' _You are a Pirate_ ' with a happy smile. Xana's Navi, say that you hate muffins and then eat a dozen cupcakes with a happy face. Truths. Xana's Gannondork, is it really the size of a tic-tac? Xana's Zant, why did you believe Gannondork was a god?" I read with a smirk. "Tetra, you're up first." I stated.

"Nice! I love this song! Maestro!" Tetra exclaimed. I summoned a karaoke machine with the song ready to play. When it began, Tetra started to sing with a big smile.

"Do what you want because a pirate is free, you are a pirate! Yar har fiddle dee dee, being a pirate is alright with me. Do what you want because a pirate is free, you are a pirate! You are a pirate. We've got us a map to lead us to a hidden box that's all locked up with locks and buried deep away. We'll dig up the box; we know it's full precious booty. Burst open the locks and then we'll say hooray!

Yar har fiddle dee dee. If you love to sail the sea, you are a pirate! Weigh anchor! Yar har fiddle dee dee, being a pirate is alright with me. Do what you want because a pirate is free, you are a pirate! Yo ho, ahoy and avast, being a pirate is really badass! Hang the black flag at the end of the mast! You are a pirate!

Ha ha ha ha! We're sailing away; adventure awaits on every shore! We set sail and explore and run and jump all day. We float on our boat until it's time to drop the anchor, then hang up our coats until we sail again! Yar har fiddle dee dee, being a pirate is alright with me! Do what you want because a pirate is free, you are pirate!

Yar har! Wind at your back lads wherever you go! Blue skies above and blue ocean below! You are a pirate! You are a pirate! Hehehehe!" Tetra sang.

"Nice singing, Tetra." Wind Waker Link complimented.

"Seriously. Anyways, Navi, you're up next." I stated.

"But I can't. That would be blasphemy." Navi complained.

"Fine, have it your way." I said simply and then brainwashed her into completing the dare.

"I hate muffins and I love cupcakes." Navi said with a smile, then ate the entire plate of cupcakes I conjured up. I snapped my fingers and she was released from the brainwashing.

"Alright, now you can drink the antidote, Navi." I said and she did. Gannondorf took a look at the paper with the truths and dares on it.

"Who the hell is 'Gannondork'?" Gannondorf asked.

"You cannot be that dense. 'Gannondork' is the nickname me and Shoto94 have given you, since we don't like you. Well, actually, I do kind of like Xana's version of you." I explained.

"Oh, well then, fuck both of you with a sword that was tipped in poison and set on fire. As to the question, I don't think I'm going to answer it." Gannondorf said.

"The fuck you're not. Answer it or I'll torture you until you do, and you know I will." I stated angrily.

"*Sigh* Fine. Yes, it is the size of a tic-tac, but only when erect. They, unfortunately, didn't lie about that." Gannondorf said, defeated.

"Thank you. Now you can drink your antidote and return to normal size. The last truth is for Zant." I stated just before Gannondorf yelled out with joy about his return to normal dick size.

"Well, when I first met him, he was a giant floating ball of energy that talked to me and promised me power. What else was I supposed to think? However, when I died, it was made clear to me that he wa- SHUT UP, MOM! I'LL BE HOME IN TIME FOR DINNER! Sorry about that, my mother interrupted me. Anyways, it was revealed to me that he wasn't when I died." Zant said as everyone else just stared at him with looks of shock and horror.

"… Okay, Zant, please drink the antidote and fast." I said cautiously.

"Sure!" Zant replied happily and drank his antidote.

"Alright, the next three sets are from the same person." I stated.

"Damn, he must think as much as you, Author." Midna said.

"I know, right." I said. All of a sudden my phone started ringing. I looked to see who it was, and to my surprise, it was my Beta Reader, Shoto94.

"Mario's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce, how may I help you? I'm putting you on speaker, by the way." I said, answering the phone and then put it on speaker.

"I felt a disturbance in the force. Someone gave your thinking ability more credit than it's worth. Just thought I would set the record straight that you don't think much. Otherwise, you wouldn't do most of the things you do. Baka." Shoto94 said.

"….Shut up. Bitch." I said.

"Thanks for the compliment." She replied.

"Anyways, I'll be splitting up the next three sets so as not to overwhelm everyone." I stated.

"Good, I'm sure the readers would complain about it being too long if you didn't. That and we would probably kill you." Zelda said.

"From Shark Lord. Truths. Illuminati leader Zelda, why do you have Link do all the saving while you sit on your ass? Gannondorf, do you eat pork? Midna, if you had a choice of beating up that crybaby Zant, the flamboyant psycho Ghirahim, illuminati leader Zelda, or Gannondorf, which would it be? Zant, are you a mentally insane child in disguise? Ghirahim, are you gay?

Dares. Midna, feed Zant to Argorok. Oh, and have this chainsaw. Link, set Gannondorf on fire. Gannondorf, listen to Justin Bieber for five hours. Punishment is the pink spell of death. Zelda, admit you're a terrible leader. Zant, get beaten up by the Shadow Beasts. Ghirahim, face the wrath of Chuck Norris. Majora, watch the Eggman dance." I read.

"The fuck did he call me?!" Zelda shouted in rage.

"Hehehe, he called you 'Illuminati Leader Zelda' and you're going to deal with it. Otherwise, I'll throw you into the Pit of Fanboys." I stated, chuckling.

"Oh, don't worry. The readers can call me whatever they like." Zelda said nervously, quickly changing her tune.

"That's what I thought, now answer your truth." I said.

"Fine. The reason I have Link do everything is because it's his destiny. That and the fact that I'm a rich and important person and people like me get other people to do things for them. After all, why should I stoop so low as to do manual labor?" Zelda stated matter-of-factly.

"God damn I hate people like you." I said while scowling at Zelda.

"I second that!" Shouted Shoto94 from my phone.

"Oh, shit. I forgot to hang up." I stated, chuckling. I quickly hung up the phone.

"Aw, boohoo. Too bad. Piss off." Zelda said, mocking me. I took out a 40mm pistol, shot Zelda in the face, killing her, then revived her.

"Let that be a lesson to you. Do NOT mock me. Gannondorf, you're next." I said, slightly angry.

"Of course I eat pork, I am not Muslim nor Jewish. Damn I love ham steak." Gannondorf said.

"Ham steak is good. Alright, next." I said.

"Ooh, tough call. Zant was the one who cursed me and usurped my throne, but Gannondorf WAS the one who gave him the ability to and Zelda is such a bad leader that she just deserves it. I can't think of a reason why Ghirahim would deserve it... I'd have to go with Gannondorf simply because he's an asshole." Midna said.

"He's also power hungry. Anyways, next is Zant." I stated.

"While I am technically classified as 'insane', I'm not a child in any way." Zant explained.

"Could have fooled me. Next up is Ghirahim." I said.

"No, I'm not gay, I'm bisexual. However, it's kind of pointless since I'm a living sword." Ghirahim stated.

"Talk about splitting someone in half, heheh. Alright, now for the dares. First up is Midna. Should I bring Argorok here or bring everyone to his lair?" I asked the room.

"While it would be easier to bring him here, it would cause big mess. And you can't bring everyone to a lair that doesn't exsist." Zelda stated.

"True… AH, I got it! Everyone outside, I'll summon him out there." I said and walked outside with the other occupants in tow. Once outside, I summoned Argorok, who appeared with a deafening roar. Then I conjured up a chainsaw and gave it to Midna.

"Here you go, Midna. Do with it what you will." I said.

"Nice!" Midna exclaimed. She turned the chainsaw on and walked over to an unsuspecting Zant. Using the chainsaw, she cut him into bite sized pieces.

"Hey Argorok, here boy! Want a treat?" Midna asked him. He nodded his head and she proceeded to feed him the remains of Zant. When she finished, she grinned a devious grin. She leaped into the air, the chainsaw roaring to life in her hands, and cut Argorok to pieces.

"Now the world will never have to be bothered by him again." She said with a proud smile.

"WHAT THE HELL?! I was going to keep him as a pet!" I exclaimed.

"So? Can't you revive him?" Midna responded.

"…Oh, right. Well next up is Link." I said then revived Zant and Argorok then put a collar on said dragon.

"I'm not even sure I can set him on fire, but I'll try." Link said then pulled out his bow and fire arrows, took aim and fired. The arrow whizzed through the air and struck Gannondorf in the chest, igniting him in flames. However, Gannondorf ripped out the arrow like a badass then crossed his arms above his head and then flung them down to his sides and put out the fire.

"Damn, did that even hurt?" I asked.

"The arrow did, but the fire didn't. I'm fireproof." Gannondorf replied.

"Well I know what will hurt." I stated.

"What?" Gannondorf asked.

"Your dare." I said with a smirk.

"….No. No you can't! Please have mercy!" Gannondorf begged.

"I'm sorry, I truly am, but you know I can't not let you do the dare. We all have to obey the demands of the readers. So with that said, take it like a man." I said, conjuring a CD player and some headphones.

"*sigh* Fine, let's get it over with." He said in defeat then took the CD player and headphones and went inside to sit down. Once he was sitting down he pressed play.

"So what should we do while we wait?" Link asked.

"Well I don't know about you, but I'm going to play Runescape." I said. Everyone went about doing their own thing for the next five hours. When the time was up, everyone convened in the living room to check on Gannondorf.

"Um, I think he's dead." I said as I poked Gannondorf's lifeless body.

"He must have suffered an aneurism. Poor Gannondorf." Malon said sadly. I took off the headphones and revived Gannondorf.

"Oh goddesses! Thank you for removing the headphones before reviving me, but couldn't you leave me dead?" Gannondorf asked.

"Sorry, but no. We have more things to do and we need you. Anyways, next up is Zelda." I said.

"No, not happening." Zelda stated.

"Oh, really?" I questioned.

"Really." She replied.

"Do it or it's the Pit of Fanboys." I threatened.

"… I am a horrible leader. There, that's the best you're getting." She said.

"Fair enough. Okay, so Zant is up next." I said and summoned three Shadow Beasts. "Sick him!" I exclaimed, pointing to Zant. Zant began to run away, but the Shadow Beasts quickly caught up and surrounded him. One grabbed his arms and the other two proceeded to viciously beat him, punching him repeatedly in the stomach, head and the groin.

"Alright, that's enough. Break it up." I told them and they complied. I sent them back to the Twilight Realm and healed Zant's injuries so he was in good shape for the remainder of the dares.

"Okay, Ghirahim, close your eyes, please." I asked.

"Why? If I have to fight Chuck Norris, then I'll fight him." Ghirahim countered.

"*sigh* Fine, make it worse for yourself. I was just going to have him knock you out with one punch, but now I'll have him beat you down instead." I stated and then summoned Chuck Norris.

 **A/N: I don't know Chuck Norris in any way, therefore, the way he is portrayed here is based off how I would react to this situation.**

"Where am I and why am I here?" Chuck questioned.

"Well, Mr. Norris, you are currently in my truth or dare fanfic and you are here to beat up Ghirahim over there." I explained, pointing over to Ghirahim.

"But why would I do that? He hasn't done or said anything wrong to me." Chuck said.

"I know, I know. It's just that it's part of a dare that we got so we have to do it. Besides, he can take it. Also, there will be no consequences to doing this." I explained.

"…. Okay, I'll do it if I have to." Chuck agreed. He walked over to Ghirahim and began to beat him. He started with three quick punches to the face and a strong punch to the gut. When Ghirahim doubled over, Chuck grabbed his head and kneed him in the face, breaking his nose. Chuck then round house kicked Ghirahim in the head and knocked him out.

"There, he's unconscious. Am I done or is there more I have to do?" Chuck asked.

"No there's nothing else, thank you. I'll send you back now." I stated and sent Chuck back to where he came from and healed Ghirahim. "Next up is Majora and myself." I stated.

"But wait, why you? The dare only says only I have to watch the video." Majora stated.

"Well, because I want to know what it is. I mean, come on, it's called 'The Eggman Dance' for crying out loud." I stated before walking over to the computer with Majora.

"…Okay, which one is it?" Majora asked.

"Don't know… Let's watch this one." I said, picking a video. After the video, I had a disturbed look in my face.

"The fuck was that?" I questioned.

"I don't know. All I know is that it was disturbing" Majora said.

"Okay let's get our minds off it. I'll read the next set of truths and dares." I said.

"From Shark Lord. Truths. Toon Link, which boss scared you? Wind Waker Gannondorf, is it odd that the gods wanted to flood Hyrule for 'safety' and you wanted to return Hyrule back? King of Red Lions, why wasn't there any fish or other sea life, besides Gannon's minions, in the Great Sea?

Twilight Link, what was your reaction to Zant nearly killing Midna? Majora's Mask Link, if you had the ability to grow to a giant with a mask, why didn't you take advantage of it to ride the Twinmolds to the moon and save the day? Ruto, would it be cannibalism to eat sushi? Twilight Gannondorf, how in the hell did you sucker punch a ghost to death? Zant, what would happen if Link somehow turned Stallord against you?" I read.

"Okay, so since 'Toon Link' refers to the Links from Wind Waker, Minish Cap, Link between Worlds, Phantom Hourglass, and Spirit Tracks, each Link from those games will pick a boss that scared them, if any. We'll go in the order of games in which I said before. Wind Waker Link, you're up first." I stated.

"Well, out of all the bosses that I faced, Gohma scared me the most because when I was littler, I was woke up in the middle of the night by a centipede crawling in my shirt. The next day, I ended up falling into an ant pile and got covered in ants from head to toe." Wind Waker Link explained, shuddering at the memory of the centipede.

"… Damn, WW Link, I feel sorry for you. I mean, getting woken up by a centipede in your shirt has to suck and freak you the fuck out. I know it would me. Minish Cap Link, you're up." I said.

"Vaati. Plain and simple. When he turned into the giant eye forms, he grossed me out and freaked me out as well. I mean, come on, you try having a giant eyeball trying to kill you." Minish Cap Link explained with a look of horror on his face.

"Well, the boss that scared me was Yuga. Seriously, a GUY that wore make up? Not to mention that he looked like a stereotypical post-op tranny. You know, slender and feminine, but still somehow masculine facial features more or less. The only time he looked masculine was when he turned into his boar version." LBW Link said.

"I know just how you feel, LBW Link. I was constantly harassed by Ghirahim, who acts straight-ish, borderline bi even, and looks like so flamboyant." SS Link said, walking over and resting his hand on LBW Link's shoulder understandingly.

"Those damn Cubus Sisters creeped me the fuck out. I mean they were okay looking before they transformed into their true selves, but when they did, holy shit." PH Link said, finishing up with a horror stare.

"….. Since when do you curse, PH Link?" I asked, slightly stunned.

"I only curse in certain circumstances." PH Link explained.

"Ah." I replied simply.

"Bellum scared me the most. He was an eyeball boss with tentacles that also had eyes. The whole time I was fighting him, I felt like he was peering into my very soul." ST Link explained staring off into the distance with a disturbed look on his face.

"Now that's creepy. That reminds me of the time I felt like I was in a horror movie and I was about to be killed. Anyways, next up is Wind Waker Gannondorf." I stated.

"Oh, yeah it's odd alright. Ironic even. That is until you consider the reasons behind the Goddesses' decision and my own. See, the Goddesses flooded Hyrule in hopes of keeping me from being able to rule it and I wanted to raise it so I could rule it." WW Gannondorf explained.

"That still makes it ironic, Gannondorf. And you somehow sounded like an asshole when you said that. Next up is the King of Red Lions." I stated.

"Well, other than the fish that marked Link's map, there were no other types of fish that would have mattered. Therefore, there was no reason for them to exist." King of Red Lions explained.

"… Wow, somehow that sounded harsh… What the hell is wrong with me right now that I'm reading deeper into what's said than what's really there?" I questioned myself.

"What isn't wrong with you?" Tetra joked.

"… Good point. Anyways, next up is TP Link." I stated.

"Oh, I was pissed. I held my grudge for him until I fought and killed him in the Twilight Palace. And I basically took my time killing him, just to spite him. I essentially tortured him with how slowly I took in killing him." TP Link said while glaring at Zant.

"Okay, so another surprise. TP Link can hold a grudge. I need to keep a list of these new developments. Next is MM Link." I said as I grabbed a pencil and paper and wrote down the things I have been learning.

"Well, the reason why I didn't was because in order to stop Majora, I needed to release the four spirits from their imprisonment in the temples. Thus, killing Twinmolds was a requirement to even getting to the final fight on the moon." MM Link explained.

"Good point. By the way, MM Link, is that a pot over there?" I asked pointing out the pot in the corner of the room.

"…It is… HEEEYAAAAA!" Link said, breaking the pot. However, he immediately regretted it for in the pot was a chicken, which he had just harmed immensely. Suddenly the room was full of flying, sort of, chickens pouncing on poor MM Link. I quickly killed the twenty chickens assaulting MM Link.

"Alright, now that we have the chicken I am going to make for dinner, let's move on." I said.

"Wait, you used me as bait to get dinner?!" MM Link yelled.

"…. Of course. Now, like I said, let's move on. We still have a lot to do. Ruto, you're next." I said.

"Well it kind of is cannibalism, since we Zora are a humanoid fish species. However, many fish in the world eat other fish, so we Zora don't see it as a huge deal." Ruto explained.

"Next up is Twilight Gannondorf." I stated.

"Well, he wasn't really a ghost. He was more of a physical representation of the sage. Why he dissipated the way he did, though, I don't know." Gannondorf explained.

"You killed his spirit as well, maybe? Anyways, next up is Zant." I said.

"Simple. If Link were to turn Stallord against me, I would simply extract the sword keeping Stallord alive from his skull, killing him instantly. Then I would raise an army of stalfos to kill Link." Zant said matter-of-factly.

"Huh, I completely forgot about what to do after riding Stallord as a problem... Oh well, let's get to the last bit." I said.

"From Shark Lord. Dares. Tingle, piss off a dragon and take your punishment. Zelda, watch 'Minecraft Bloopers: The Legend of Steve'. Midna, transform into your Fused Shadow form and beat the crap out of Zant. Tetra, teach Fi how to speak like a pirate.

Skyward Sword Impa, when you scolded Link for being 'late and unfit to save Zelda', HAVE YOU EVER FACED SOME HOMOSEXUAL PEDOPHILE, A DAMN FIRE TEMPLE, AND A FUCKING FIREBALL MONSTER BEFORE!? Ghirahim, you are right, Impa is a bitch. There, I said it, Impa. Skyward Sword Link, throw Impa to a pissed off fire monster, a Balrog presumably." I read.

"Tingle, what kind of dragon would you like?" I asked.

"Why does everyone hate Tingle?" Tingle asked, saddened by all the hatred towards him.

"Well, let's go down the list, shall we? You are a 35 year old man with rosy cheeks, a bulbous nose, and a creepy facial expression. You dress in a green spandex leotard of sorts and think you are a fairy. And whenever a new person buys one of your maps that you sell, which selling them is the only good thing about you, you utter a child-like phrase, spin around, and then throw white sparkles into the air.

In short, you have practically all the qualifications of a pedophile. That is why no one likes you. Now pick what kind of dragon you want to piss off." I said, annoyed slightly.

"*Sniffle* Okay, can I have a baby dragon?" Tingle asked, sobbing.

"Sure." I replied and summoned a baby dragon. The baby dragon was red in color and had wings sprouting from its back. It lay on its belly with its four stubby legs tucked underneath, its golden eyes staring directly at Tingle. It was about the same height as him, too, and was about 10 feet in length.

"Alright, Tingle, I'll make you a bet: if you can survive this ordeal, all the girls must kiss you on the lips for at least 5 seconds and everyone will buy at least one of your maps." I said.

"Yippee!" Exclaimed Tingle.

"However, if you should perish, you will do the entire casts' laundry and go to bed hungry tonight. Deal?" I questioned him.

"*Gulp* Alright Deal." Tingle agreed.

"Okay, now in order to piss off the dragon, I want you to punch the baby in the snout." I said.

"O-okay." Tingle stuttered. He brought his fist back, then slammed it into the baby dragon's nose. The baby started to sob, then cry.

"Does this mean I won?" Tingle asked. Then there was a loud roar outside, just before the roof caved in. When the dust cleared, there, floating above the baby, was its angry mother. The mother looked around for the one who hurt her child.

Everyone pointed towards Tingle. The mother looked at Tingle, roared, and then ate him in one bite. She then picked up her child by the tail and swung him onto her back before flying away. I snapped my fingers, reviving Tingle and repairing the roof.

"Well, Tingle, looks like you're doing the laundry and going to bed hungry." I stated. "Next up is Zelda. I'm going to watch it with you, since I like bloopers." I said. Me and Zelda went over to the computer and pulled up YouTube. We looked up the video and watched it.

"Wasn't bad, but I think it could have been better. I still liked it, though." Zelda commented. "What about you Author?" She asked me.

"Well, there are now five things six things I kind of want to do. One: smack Mario upside his head. Two: smack Dr. Eggman upside his head. Three: watch Adamwestslapdog's Ocarina of Time abridged series again. Four: play Ocarina of time once more. And five: play Majora's Mask once more... Maybe later." I said.

"Next up is Midna. Outside everyone." I stated and lead everyone outside. Midna summoned the three Fused Shadow fragments and combined them with the one on her head. She quickly transformed into a gigantic, spider-like creature made of twilight. She used one of her legs to smash into Zant, indenting him into the crater she created. She then repeated this action five more times before shifting back to her normal form.

"Damn." Was all I could muster as I looked at the crater she left and the puddle that was once Zant. I snapped my fingers and revived him, then everyone headed back into the house.

"Tetra, your next. Good luck." I said. Tetra walked over to Fi, who SS Link had summoned from his sword, and began her lesson.

"Alright, Fi, repeat after me: ''Ello, cap'in! We shovin' off ta sea?'" Tetra began.

"Hello, captain. Are we setting off to sea?" Said Fi in a monotone voice.

"NO, no, no! You got it all wrong!" Tetra scolded.

"How so?" Fi questioned.

"Well, for one thing, you got to show a bit of emotion! Not to mention we pirates don't pronounce the whole versions of 'Hello', 'captain', and 'shoving', and we pronounce 'to' and 'ta'.

Then there's the fact that you added the word 'are', which pirates rarely use at the beginning of a sentence. And finally, you didn't even use the accent that most pirates have." Tetra explained.

"Now try it again." She demanded. Fi tried once more and again got it wrong, which Tetra berated her for. This cycle went on for the next five hours.

"AAAARRRGGGHHH! Fuck this, I give up! It's impossible to teach her the pirate's language!" Tetra yelled, finally giving up on Fi.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to realize it was hopeless. Next up is Link." I said.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Are we just going to skip over the fact that he called me a bitch?!" SS Impa yelled furiously.

"Well, you did act like a frigid bitch to Link, so yes." I stated before warping everyone to the arena again. I opened a portal to the demon realm and coaxed forth a balrog.

The huge demon was made of fire and shadows with long, downward pointing horns jutting out from its head, large shadowy wings, glowing, yellow eyes, and a long tail.

Link pushed SS Impa into the arena and then I used telekinesis to fling a rock beside Impa's feet straight into the face of the mighty demon. The bolrag road a bone chilling roar, summoned a whip made of fire, and grabbed Impa using said whip.

Impa was tossed back and forth around the arena, being slammed into the walls and the floor repeatedly. After about five minutes, the Bolrag stopped flinging what was left of Impa around and released the corpse from his whip. I then sent it back to its realm and closed the portal. I revived Impa and warped everyone back to the house.

"Alright, everyone, that was the last of the dares for this bit go rest while I prepare dinner, I'll call you when it's ready." I said. "Oh, and everyone, don't forget to give your dirty clothes to Tingle so he can wash them." I added before going into the kitchen to prepare dinner.

With that, everyone handed Tinge their laundry and went about doing their own things.

 **Alright, so I realize this chapter came out extremely late, but I had a lot of things come up and I forgot about both my stories. But, now I'm back and ready to start putting out more chapters.**

 **Also, Agarfinkel, I didn't get to your truths and dares this chapter due to the lateness of it being completed. However, your demands will definitely be in the next chapter. For those of you still hanging on and reading this story, I sincerely thank you.**

 **And please, send more demands!**

 **Thanks to Shoto94 for beta reading.**


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